A 23 year old girl, obsessed with Lady Gaga and lover of all things music and movies.
My life is a long road, I'm taking it one step at a time and I have no idea where it will take me. It's a journey of exploration and imagination.
Most people don't look beneath the surface of the person I really am. If you don't understand me now, you probably never will.
Another picture of Jasper and Nixon
(submitted by Dan)
I feel like I need to get some things off my chest.
This heart, this heavy heart of mine often feels like some lost remnant of the person I used to be. I’d like to find her again and speak to her. Tell her of all the things that she’s missing out on, that life is not infinite. That we have to grab it by the horns and be spontaneous. Take chances. Make mistakes but most importantly, learn from them.
In many ways, I feel the world is superficial. A few will enter your life and be gone within an instant. Some, may stay longer. You may even fool yourself into thinking they care, not necessarily a bad thing, as how can we learn from these things unless we experience them first hand? In many ways, I’ve become the very thing I’ve always despised. I’m not sure I exactly know how to handle that so I believe that I can hide behind the mask of medication. And that will make it okay to carry on. To continue existing.
In all honestly, I am afraid to what will become of myself when I eventually do wean myself off them. Will I forever be plagued with the feeling that I shouldn’t exist in this world? It’s a frightening thing that I think about nearly every day. Happiness shouldn’t be unachievable, yet I feel for myself it will infinitely be so for the rest of my life. This isn’t the message I want to bring across to my future children. I don’t want them to grow up thinking the things I thought, the feelings I felt. I’d rather slit my own throat then to enter anyone into that purgatory of hell.
I’m not sure exactly what it is I was trying to say here. Maybe I’ll never know.
❝ As Daenerys Targaryen rose to her feet, her black hissed, pale smoke venting from its mouth and nostrils. The other two pulled away from her breasts and added their voices to the call, translucent wings unfolding and stirring the air, and for the first time in hundreds of years, the night came alive with the music of dragons.
LA’s a very hard place to be unless you have people there that love you. It can be very, very lonely, and it can eat you up if you don’t take care of yourself. In LA, nobody wants to talk to each other, everybody’s giving each other catty looks.